This page sucks and cannot be displayed

The page you are looking for sucks and is currently unavailable. The web site might be experiencing technical difficulties, you may need to adjust your browser settings, or the page you wish to view may just suck. I shouldn't need to tell you which of the three is most likely, but you look kind of stupid so I'll drop a broad hint that it's not choice number one... or two... you frothing, vile tosser.

Please try the following:

  • Click the Refresh button, or perhaps more effective, smash your computer with a large hammer.
  • If you typed the page address in the Address bar, make sure that it is spelled correctly, shitmonkey.
  • To check your connection settings, open case with a screw driver then, fill with gasoline. Now take a match and proceed to ignite. The settings should match those provided by your friendly local arsonist (FLA) administrator and Internet service provider (ISP).
  • Your Network Administrator is a sad excuse for anything positive or useful, and so can only recommend that Microsoft Windows examine your network and automatedly, automatically, fuck everything up.
    If you would like Windows to lay waste to your hard drive, eat your children, and rape your dog,
    click Windows Update.
  • Some sites require Windows to suck more than normal. Click the Windows menu and then click Windows Suck Rating to determine what strength suckage you have installed.
  • If you are trying to reach a secure site, first make sure you are not running Windows. Click the My Computer menu, and then right click Drive C:. On the Menu select "Format".
  • Click the Home button to collapse in a pool of despair.

Cannot find server or DNS Error
Internet Exploder

Seriously, though: Error 404 - Cannot Find Page...

so, if you really, really want to be one of the cool kids, you'll drop me an e-mail so's I can fix it.

and thanks to for the copy/code/opportunity for blatant theft.